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Still alive  
01:49pm 24/06/2011
Aurora Ali'Una
I am still lurking here occasionally, just never feel like writing, mostly because I'd probably just whine.

But for those interested, life's been a bit shitty, still working on bankruptcy and struggling with power/rent/both from time to time. Colt's mom died in January while we were in a brief half-separation that we both knew wasn't even going to be temporary anyways. We had a couple ferrets, one died 2 months ago, got a third, then second of the original died a month ago. Finally ditched burger world for good, back at Wal-Mart making the same money working 4 days a week. So that's going good at least.
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First tattoo  
05:00pm 09/08/2010
Aurora Ali'Una
As promised, my first tattoo, on my right shoulder. Belated 26th birthday present to myself. Finally after 6 years of waiting.

Uploaded to Facebook

EDIT: Which apparently people without facebook can't view, so I made a photobucket account. :P

The artist Ramone designed it himself, he rocks(and he's hawt). He told me to keep breathing when he started, so I focused too much on breathing and nearly passed out lol. Apparently I breath a lot better when just simply chatting. The process didn't hurt nearly as much as I'd psyched myself up for, more of a vaguely annoying burn.. an addictive, vaguely annoying burn. Can't wait to get more.
location: home
mood: coldcold
music: My Last Breath ~ Evanescence
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Hoping for some help  
10:08am 25/07/2010
Aurora Ali'Una
Well, my mother in law has already been in bad shape for.. well, longer than I've known her, but it's been getting even worse to the point she can hardly even take care of herself. And now just the other day she fell down some cement stairs and broke / seriously injured numerous parts of her body, particularly one ankle, and toes on the other foot. Being that she can't hardly take care of herself as it is, it puts her in a very critical situation. My wife was already planning to try and visit in September if we could afford it, but now we need to get her there as immediately as possible if we can. Unfortunately as most things like this happen, it's when money isn't so forgiving, so if anyone can help at all, even just well wishes would be appreciated. But if by chance anyone can actually help more than that, our paypal is dragonsoft@hotmail.com . Or if by chance anyone out there works for airlines and can provide cost assistance of some manner through that, might be even more helpful in the end.

I love timing too, after six years of waiting and postponing for various reasons, I finally got my first tattoo as a stress relief from work crap and a self-birthday present like A DAY before this happened. Hell, wifeypoo has gotten three since we got together three years ago. Figured I could allow myself to indulge for once finally. And then shit like this happens, makes me feel pretty salty and guilty about letting myself slip and spend money like that. *sigh* I'll post pictures of it when it's healed enough to photo well, for those interested. :/

Paypal / email: dragonsoft@hotmail.com
mood: guiltyguilty
music: Clickety-click
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Looking For Group  
12:39pm 06/07/2010
Aurora Ali'Una
For those that don't know, yes, I am a World of Warcraft player. I started playing a free MMO called Perfect World about two years ago until finally my mate, and two of my managers at work, and a coworker, all dragged me into WoW last summer. So, who else on my flist plays? Looking to connect with a few people so I have more friends to play with and so I can reestablish some connections online with people. If anything, some people to chat to via the new Battle.net Real ID while we game, if not playing together. Comments screened for anyone who wants to share Battle.net Real IDs.

Btw, I have toons on the following servers for those interested, and would gladly start a lowbie or DK on any server to hang out with people:

== Alexstraza(main server) ==
80 Tauren Druid
68 Blood Elf DK
20 Troll Rogue
20 Blood Elf Mage

20 Draenei Hunter

couple less than 10s on either side, don't remember what.

== Icecrown ==
19 Gnome Rogue
58 Draenei DK

== Vek'nilash ==
58 Tauren DK

== Blackhand ==
58 Tauren DK

And I think maybe one more DK somewhere out there, can't remember.

I think I'm going to update this periodically as I create / level characters.
mood: dorkydorky
music: Tigris & Euphrates ~ Cusco
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Movin' on up (again)  
03:40pm 22/04/2010
Aurora Ali'Una
So, for a while I was working two jobs. I was still at my job overnights at Burger King. And I worked during days as a Cashier / Courtesy Clerk at Wal-Mart (cart bitch, or "Certified CRT Cart Removal Technician as one manager liked to call it). I was going to switch to Wal-Mart and even officially quit BK for a few weeks during March, but after a while, decided that BK was still a better venue. Despite wanting desperately to be done with food service for years, I've invested too many years into the company specifically and general food service to switch ships now, when I still wouldn't be pursuing a career at Wal-Mart either. So I came back to BK at the end of March, turned in my two weeks notice at Wal-Mart, and eventually just outright quit one day. Aside from BK being more beneficial overall and more familiar, Wal-Mart just seemed too volatile. Not going to get into the politics specifically, but it just didn't seem remotely secure, cross the wrong person and they would literally create safety rules to get rid of you.

So anyways, back at BK, and got numerous raises as a result of coming back because they desperately needed me on nights again. Plus, since the previous main manager at nights screwed up and nearly got himself permanently back on his prison sentence, I've snagged the nighttime management position for myself. Know most of it already, do "official" training next week. Originally I did not want to put myself in management in this store because of some politics and the GM in general, I've decided it will work okay, and it will help me get by better until we are situated for me to go back to school, probably after Colt gets in some college time.

In other news, we FINALLY have a real apartment, all to ourselves. It's so fecking nice no longer having to share a bathroom and kitchen with 8 other units. Or having to worry that our neighbors will create up bullshit to try and get us evicted. Or having the landlord's wife make up bullshit lies to slander our name to other tenants. She told one tenant we burned down a trailer, after we'd vaguely mentioned, not even outright complained, that said tenant was smogging the hallway with pot smoke. Neither of us are outright against marijuana use, but I'm rather allergic to it, and some decency to fan it out a window when using it would be nice. But we didn't even actually complained, we merely mentioned it in passing while asking if lighting incense to help mask it would get us evicted(because we nearly were over a fucking candle two days prior). Anyways, again, so much bullshit I'm not going to go into all the details. It's over, thank god.

So, now I just need to get things rolling again on our bankruptcy. We need ink for our printer because the documents are in non-saving PDFs. And doing it from the library with only an hour a day access to their printer would take weeks, literally. Though, at this point I might just do it all by pen except the debtors list. I've been putting it off because of all the job and housing upheavals of late, but now that things are settling again, time to reopen that book. Hopefully we can get into the May hearing, or June at latest.

Colt got a Parakeet too, belated Christmas present. We can't really have any other pets here(that and no porch/yard are like the only downsides to new apt). Her name is Borealis or Bor-e for short. She's adorable, and already learning a few tricks. Colt takes her down the hall with her to check the mail now and then, she attacked the maintenance guy the other day, it was hilarious. We were going to train her as an attack keet anyways, heh. We're hoping to get the birdy a companion next payday if we can swing it.

So, overall, most things are going fairly well right now. Now if I can just get a bit more social again online *coughlessworldofwarcrackcough* >.>
location: New Apartment
mood: awakeawake
music: Jeff Dunham
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Blows the dust off her LJ account, even if less than DA.  
02:05am 31/12/2009
Aurora Ali'Una
Copied from my DA post, some a bit repeated here as I've been less absent here, but a bit update still. Mostly that I have 2 jobs and am more officially seeking Bankruptcy.

Well, I haven't drawn much, if at all, for.. well, probably since the last time I updated DA. Life's been interesting, anything that could go wrong pretty much has. But on the other hand, I have my wife, as of 2 and a half years now, and we're mucking through it all. Still struggling with trans-issues, and with all our financial problems, wondering if I'll every even be able to persue help to make me feel whole. But life goes on, and I have support. I hope to be drawing a bit more again, have one work I plan on starting pretty quick here as a "Christmas" gift for my wifey, and I'm hoping if I can get past the blockade of self-criticism, that maybe I'll start drawing again regularly. I'm working two jobs right now, so time is limited for many things, BUT, on the other hand, drawing is something I can do during breaks at my jobs. We'll see, but hopefully even if art doesn't pick up much, I'll be around a bit more again. I miss a lot of people, and am needing to reestablishing connections.

Rough catch up, I've graduated with an Associates in Computer Information Systems: specializing in Programming.

We no longer have our cats, two left when we moved in with a friend in Indiana. We went from there to my mother-in-law's house, because of finances and hopes to help her and ourselves, which didn't really work.. at all. We left Twilight when we had no other choice than to make trail back to my hometown in Montana.

I'm now working two jobs, since Colt is medically unable to work. One is overnights at Burger King, and the other as a Courtesy Clerk(cart pusher) at Wal-Mart.

We're in the process of filing for bankruptcy because of our debts.. it won't kill all of them, but it should knock out the worst, and give us a fighting chance to recover at least. I can't convey the stress these unpaid bills weighs on my mind.
mood: confusedconfused
music: G.I. Joe on TV
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Bigger apartment and Birthday.  
08:14am 20/07/2009
Aurora Ali'Una
Well, we've been staying in a nearly closet sized sleeper room for almost 3 months now. It'd be okay for just one person, but way too cramped for two. But, because it has a shared kitchen and bathroom with other units, it was only $300 a month with utilities paid, about the best deal one in financial straights can come up with around here on short notice. Got it through my mom's landlord that's known us for many years now, since she was in the process of moving into her new public housing apartment and we needed a place to stay. Well, there was one person here who everyone's been trying to get rid of for a year, rude, dirty, inconsiderate drunken slob. Finally he left, thank god, and we nabbed first dibs on his apartment. It was officially free as of last Wednesday.

Well, Thursday was my 25th birthday, so the day before as my birthday present from mom, she paid for Colt and I to go see Harry Potter 6. Fitting, since the book came out ON my 21st birthday while I was in Germany. We also had a picnic and watched my nephew play baseball(all off little sleep x.x), so we missed the landlord trying to catch us that day to talk about moving apartments and giving us the key. We called on my birthday, which I had thankfully negotiated that night off at nearly the last minute earlier that week, I was going to need it.

Because apparently our "not yet old" apartment was already listed, and by the time we talked to her she gave us 24 hours to move or be evicted. Happy Birthday to me. I spent the entire day of my birthday and most of the night, with little sleep, moving, packing, and cleaning. We got a much more roomier apartment now, and it wasn't meant with ill-intent that she told us that, but it was just kind of a sour punch-in-the-gut at the moment.

We are moved, with only the final hiccup of phone/internet moving left to go. So while the actual day kind of sucked, the better apartment is sort of a nice Birthday gift. Harry Potter was awesome, we both loved it to death. I wore my Snape Friend or Foe shirt and Colt wore a self-made slytherin necklace. Colt also got me a lovely unicorn necklace that's gotten many comments at work. That about covers the gifts. :)

Still at same lame job though, upper-management's stiffing of night crew and complete inconsideration is making us all more and more tired of the job. Hopefully I'll find a second or better job soon, but eh, whatever works for now.
location: New apartment
mood: tiredtired
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Back to the ER  
08:54pm 17/05/2009
Aurora Ali'Una
Went back last night. Started bleeding badly all of a sudden again at work. Tea bags only stopped the bleeding for 5/10 minutes. Told my boss if I couldn't get it to stop in an hour or two I'd have to go to the ER. Well, I had gotten to the point I decided to tough out the shift since it was stopping and starting, and that was when it started really gushing and rapidly forming clots.

Needless to say I shortly booked my way up to the hospital. They packed it in, getting it to stop, and refilled my prescrip for Percocet. Taking tonight off, and consulting dentist as per my instructions when I go in for the original sutures to be removed on Monday. Everybody at the ER was a bit confused why it wasn't more healed by now. The dissolving stitches from the monday night ER visit must have done just that, dissolved, but 6 days after the tooth was removed, it should not bleed that badly.

Oh, and joy joy side note, no open appointments to finish getting teeth removed until July, so at this rate, I will have 5% chewing ability until like next Fall. D:

Plus side, I'm taking today off(first full day I've missed since starting work). That means a three-day weekend... three-day weekend of liquids and minimal soft foods.. but three-day weekend nonetheless. XD
mood: blahblah
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Start it off with a BANG  
10:03am 12/05/2009
Aurora Ali'Una
So yesterday was the big start of the great extraction. My appointment was at 10:15am so I just stayed up after work for it. Went off just fine, removed the two top rear teeth on either side and asked me if I wanted to do the next two on both sides, or call it good for now. I figured I'd minimize the trips and go for it. Left at 11am with nothing but my front four teeth left on the top, being my adult canines had never grown out either after the babies were pulled 8 years ago. Wasn't that bad, bleeding was a little heavy but I expected to bleed heavier anyways.

We went to Wal-Mart to get something for Mother's Day since we couldn't really get around yesterday and we had no money before that. Got some tea bags to bite on because the tanic acid helps stop bleeding and they absorb more blood than gauze does, plus they gave me a piddly amount of gauze. We then progressed out to the area where I have to make my cash advance payment. It was around then I realized I wasn't supposed to change teabags more than once an hour, and only supposed to leave them in for 20 minutes at a time. So I started to cut back, plus I got tired of not being able to talk. We had began to worry I was bleeding a bit too much, but we dismissed it.

Our next stop was next to the theater, as we had planned to see Wolverine and Star Trek today. I proceeded to hoof it to Mom's to leave her gifty(she wasn't home it turned out). Heading back, I popped into a bathroom because I had felt something weird in my mouth. I removed a blood clot from the left side the size of my thumb.

We went through the movies okay, although another clot had started to form. I was still bleeding fairly bad too, considering it had by the time the movies were done, been 11 hours since the procedure. So we fanaggled a ride from Mom's boyfriend to the ER. I hadn't been feeling bad or anything, except maybe a little nauseous from all the blood I had swallowed, considering I had had nothing but water since 11pm the night before by now. Mostly, we wanted to see if they could do something about the clot and stop/slow the bleeding. Got to the heart rate monitor, and part way through it had to re-tighten. My heartrate was 56 / 40 (if I remember correct). I began to crash all of a sudden.

My whole body went a bit tingly and disconnected. I got so close to not being able to see that more of my vision was black and white than blurry sight. Managed to get myself into the wheelchair and they took me to a bed. Vision returned after about 10 minutes of fighting to not pass out. It didn't help I'd been awake for pretty much 30 hours by this point. Shortly later I puked up about a quarter gallon of blood. After that I was pretty much okay though. The cutey ER dude removed the clot in a few chunks, it had apparently grown partially down my throat, and the whole thing weighed over 3 ounces. He re-stitched the left side where it was bleeding, and after my blood work came back okay, I eventually went home.

So, now I'm back on schedule with eating jello, icecream, and soup. My appointment on Thursday. we were supposed to see if I was healed enough to remove stitches, and proceed to the bottom teeth for now before we finish the top. But after today, I will have them probably just stick to the stitches. Sucky part is, I believe they don't have another appointment spot until July. =/
mood: okayokay
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*sneaks in covertly, slips an update onto the coffee table, and dissapeeeeears*  
07:10am 07/05/2009
Aurora Ali'Una
So, lot has happened I guess since the last time I updated. Got passed up for getting all over-night shifts because it would be "a waste of talent" despite that I'd been TOLD for months I would get it when the other kid quit / got canned. Not only that, but then I got to TRAIN the dude for the shift -I- wanted. Then was going to try for the over-night management as it opened up a few weeks later, but my friend Kenny (whom I'd worked with back in the day 4 years ago) had talked to the boss first. Wasn't so upset about that, didn't really want the binding responsibility, it just seemed a new window for a consistent shift during the time I prefer. Ironically enough, a few weeks still after that, the new kid doing front over-night turned in his two-weeks, after I'd already had to pick up one of his shifts because two jobs were overloading him. So I went straight to the big-boss, who had happened to just take over doing schedules. He agreed that the "waste of talent" was bullshit and gladly gave me the shift I wanted. Couple weeks ago I also asked for a raise, should get that soon now that inventory is back to good numbers. So now I'm better set up to get a second job, or aim for a good solid one, plus I've been at this job nearly 6 months now, so my work history is looking a tad less flakey again too.

On the bill front, most of them are still stewing untouched, and at least two student loans have gone to collections. IE, bills have not improved yet overall, but, I might have a plan to tackle all the credit ones at least, if I'm lucky, and that will give me one much lower payment for all of them, and just leave the student loans. Will still prolly need another job, but part-time will be more feasible, just have to make it all happen, if my hopeful saving grace will go for it.

Home front, bit of an improvement there! We are now holed up in a sleeper room since last Thursday, in fact like 6 hours short of a full week. It's $300 a month all utilities paid except phone/internet, sharing a kitchen and bathroom with a few other units. Not too bad, and it's a place to actually call ours, plus the chance to feel more self-sufficient with a solid rent due on a regular basis. Gets us a bit more ready for when we come up for public housing or a section 8 voucher. My mother has also gotten into a new place, and it was where she was hoping to go through public housing. It's just a matter of getting the rest of her stuff out of the old house and into storage. It will kind of suck though, we've lived in that building for 11 years now, and before that one of my best friends' owned it since I met him in like '93. So I've been going in and out of that building for 16 years.

Mental front, I've been seeing the therapist at the clinic while I'm on the homeless program. It's been doing a lot to help, I'm slowly breaking down some of my self-destructive cycles, building some confidence, and being trapped in this body is bothering me a little less for the meantime. It's nice to have another outlet for talking about being transgendered that's in person. I try to talk to my mate as much as I can, which I know I could still do more, but she's not really sure what to do other than console and just be there for me and really there isn't much more, plus someone who's less personally involved can be nice now and then. But I am still trying to work on talking more, and I think the therapy and improved confidence will help me be more open elsewhere also. I've always been better at writing things out than actually talking, part of why I like journals on here, but I stopped doing that even. Hopefully I can improve in person both for me and for my mate, and resume using this outlet a bit more again.

Physical front, I took a couple therapy sessions for my knee, the knee cap was loose and I had a tracking problem from muscles trying to compensate. So they gave me some exercises and stretches to help both with that, and with general leg health and fitness. I haven't been doing that great on doing them, but I'm not giving up, and this last month has been really hectic. I hope now that we're in a place that might lend better to doing them, and as I form a routine now that my work schedule is consistent, that I will get better at doing them regularly. Also on the physical front, I'm getting all my upper teeth removed, and half the lower, and getting dentures. Teeth start getting pulled next week, dunno just how long the whole process is going to take.

Well, I think that's about it for now, about time to crash for the morning. =D
location: Home
mood: productiveproductive
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